Where are the answers?
I also let myself reflect on things that have been said in discussion groups by other students in further modules and Helen, that being that we aren't looking for answers as such, nothing will be black and white, we are allowing ourselves to search for theories and discussions that we can see in our practice or that we perhaps go against.
I am also finding the literature and reading very overwhelming and I feel myself going to a piece and reading the abstract or contents and expecting things to jump out at me, when in actual fact I don't know what I am looking for. I am trying to challenge myself to not expect to find something in the first few lines of text and allow myself to read and who knows what I might find. I find that I am fearing wasting time in case I don't find anything, when in actual fact I'm wasting time that could be spent reading.
I plan on challenging myself to blog/journal a little more and just to let my thoughts and feelings out as I have felt today they have just been whizzing round my head, leaving me feeling very lost. But I feel that getting my thoughts down can sometimes make them seem more logical.
Something today which has taken my interests is after reading many blogs regarding Mondays session, is the feeling that most of us felt when asked by Helen to describe our practice, alarm bells started ringing for most, however despite our internal feeling we all managed to give some sort of answer to the question without letting on our insecurities to the groups. Why is this? is this something we have learnt from the industry? our training? our personalities? This is something I would like to explore in more detail and would be great to hear if anyone has any thoughts about this.
Where my learning going
- Allowing myself to reflect on what styles of learning I use and does this change depending of circumstance?
-Tacit Knowledge
- Remember that right now we should be making lots notes and we shouldn't be worrying about them coming together just yet.
-Read and Reflect
I felt today I just needed to get my thoughts and feelings down to make my brain feel quite so full!
H x
Hey Hannah! Don’t you worry, I’m completely with you on that one. I tried looking at some of the sections in the module hand book but I just don’t understand. Is there something I’m missing?
ReplyDeleteIn regards to the session, I feel like maybe we’ve all been well trained in quick thinking because I definitely made all that up on the spot!! And have probably learnt to just hide our problems and pretend like everything’s going okay, when really- we’re struggling. But this could be something you can “reflect” on using past experiences. I’m about to post a blog where I attempted this.
Emily x
Hey Emily!
DeleteI agree I keep reading it and thinking why am I not understanding, what is it that I don't get but it's not that it more a case of me looking at what its telling me and seeing if i use that theory or not! I think for so long you are trained to look for a definite answer that when that is your opinion it seems almost wrong!
I think your point on the session is very valid too, I think our training and the Industry has a big part to play in keeping a tough exterior and it is definitely something I intend to delve deeper into !
I look forward to reading your blog
H x
Hi Hannah,
DeleteHonestly, I'm completely on your wavelength here- even down to your need for tea!
I was concerned myself this week when it comes to literature; reading other students blogs I could see so many that many were finding quotes and authors that resonated with them but I hadn't related to anything myself. I'm currently telling myself to 'trust the process', keep working at it and it should come together soon. You seem to be asking good questions and have the right mindset so keep having confidence in yourself!
Also thank you Emily for your response to Monday's session. Admittedly I've been struggling to define what my practise is and when I saw everybody had an answer it both inspired some ideas of the type of thing I'm looking for, but also had me thinking 'how does everyone know what they're doing but me'? But if like you said, you made it up on the spot (as I did), it's helped me realise there are probably more people feeling as I am than I realise. Also, even if it was a bit panicked and forced out, I think we probably surprised ourselves that, as confused as we thought we were, we actually did have some ideas to present to the group. I agree with your second point that, that is the nature of performers, to smile and pretend everything's fine on stage even if we don't feel like that, because that's literally part of our job. I too am looking into that at the moment, with transferable skills so I'm interested to read your ideas on it.
Larissa x
Hi Larissa,
DeleteThank you for the response! I feel the same totally, I'm reading blogs which are helping so much but then I panic that I should be further along! and with the literature the same too, but like you say we just need to trust the process and know that it will all begin to make sense when we need it to!
I also agree with what you said about Monday that even if perhaps we weren't too sure what we were going to say, when we allowed ourselves to say it out-loud if gave us some clarity in our thoughts! I would be interested to connect with you on your thoughts and finding on this as to why and how we seem to be so good at keeping so cool on the outside yet inside is quite the reverse! I look forward to connect with you on your thoughts!
H x
Hi Hannah,
ReplyDeleteI think we are all definitely in the same boat! Reading and re reading theories whilst reading different books whilst also trying to reflect on experiences that link with these can feel overwhelming! Personally, I have found it helpful to firstly delve into the theories in the handbook, then do personal research on these and then reflect upon experiences that automatically jump out at me. I think if we take it day by day and trust that this is our own process and every study session is valuable to our knowledge and understanding of our practise and the BA PP.
As creatives we have a high work ethic and are dedicated. Perhaps we criticise ourselves too easily! Trust the process and as a community we are all here to support one another.
Your point about blogging more and putting your thoughts down on blogs is definitely something I am trying to implement. I find after exploring a particular area in depth my notes sometimes confuse me as they appear really disconnected and unorganised. Logging on and blogging my research and reflections really clarifies my study and is useful writing practise for when it comes to starting the essay.
Ellie x
Hi Ellie, thank you for your reply! I think also blogging is really helping me remember to reach out as there are lots of people on this course and sometimes after being stuck with my head in, books, the handbooks and research I find myself feeling very lost! I am trying to take the same approach as you also and keep trying to tell myself that I don't need to rush through everything because then I haven't really taken anything in.
DeleteI think you are very right in the fact that we as professional are so used it criticising what we don't give ourselves a chance!
Blogging has definitely helped me makes my thoughts seem more logical and is something I am trying to use more often
H x
Hi Hannah, I've definitely been feeling the same. Everyday I'm wondering if I'm doing enough or whether all the reading I'm trying to do is useless (surely it can't be if I'm learning something but I feel that way). It's good to know however that we're not alone and we don't need to be coming up with a finished product anytime soon. I'm finding reading everyone's blogs so helpful and just trying to stay positive and focused x
ReplyDeleteHi Niamh, I think its so good to connect and reach out when feeling like this because it can really start to get in the way of being productive by constantly worrying what I'm doing isn't right! I can definitely relate to you with the reading it's something which I am really working to put my mind to !
DeleteH x
Hi Hannah! I just wanted to say that you are not alone. I have been feeling a little overwhelmed this week as i was sat myself down and i was trying to read on the last few bits on the second lense and nothing seemed to make sense and it was just a clump of words. Taking a break and moving on to something new has really helped me and it gave me a clearer mindset when I was ready to tackle it again. I'm so glad that i came across this post today because it made me a little bit more at ease. I look forward to reading up on your posts! Stay positive and we are all in this together! x
ReplyDeleteHi Melissa, I'm glad coming across this blog has helped eased your mind, it helped mine in writing it too. I can still say that I feeling overwhelmed with my thoughts but I'm just trying not to let them get in the way too much! I am definitely trying not to get too stuck on a point and trying to keep positive!
DeleteH x